Accolades are arriving from around the world in the from double telegrams, e-mails and phone calls applauding Abner Furbish the 3rd upon his announcement that he has just completed Phase Two of the worlds first Double DeBUNKolation.
.: . Date: Tuesday 9/23/2003
Abner Furbish the 3rd played EMC one of the many messages on his answering machine congratulating him on his First Double DeBUNKolation. “Abner, congratulations on your Double DeBUNKolation! Abner, congratulations on your Double DeBUNKolation!” Abner flashed a couple of quick grins then showed us a couple of celebratory doodads he picked up for his lovely wife Gertrude.When we informed Abner that the final DeBUNKolation had arrived too late to have any effect on the current SAG elections, he simply smiled knowingly and rejoined “There is no timeline on DeBUNKolation!”
Phase two’s DeBUNKolation involves MelissaGilbert's final campaign e-mail and includes a Double DeBUNKolation Bonehead Bonus! Using the Amazing DeBUNKolators Summaryoculator, Melissa’s statement was DeBUNKolated down to its egregious essence.
Summary of Melissa Gilbert’s last campaign statement: DeBUNKolated in two parts.
Part One: Gilbert has nothing positive to report therefore resorts to blaming others for her own failures! ATA/NATR referendum! World Union referendum! Subject suffers from Digital Envy! Her only solution is to serve up her union to an International Alliance! Subject refuses to stand up for the entire membership. Ignores 99-CVR-17R, AFTRA’s agreement not to lowball actors salaries. Refuses to acknowledge AFL-CIO’s article XX which condemns trade union morality! Avoids historical lesson, demonstrated by 1951 leadership which under similar circumstances petitioned NLRB for jurisdictional elections which SAG won overwhelmingly. Actions demonstrate extreme Wimp Factor! Solution One : Dump her and her slate for strong leadership.
Part Two: Resorts to unsubstantiated accusations! Once again her only course of action is to turn over SAG’s assets and autonomy to an untested INTERNATIONAL ALLIANCE! She and her slate are what is called in showbiz parlance “One Trick ponies!” Solution Two: Don’t be “tricked” get Aboard with Kent McCord and the Membership First Team!
Double Deboneheaded DeBUNKolated Bonus: Subject actually made this statement in her e-mail exchange with McCord! One of her reasons for not debating was explained this way “Not to be nit pick, but I’ve done some research and not all televisions have closed captioning. Especially older models!” Has anyone notified both Gubernatorial and Presidential candidates of this gross inequity! How could they even consider debates after being informed of Melissa’s bogus bombshell. Had she done further research she could have doubled her argument by including radio! Solution Three: See Solutions One and Two!
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When we informed Abner that the final DeBUNKolation had arrived too late to have any effect on the current SAG elections, he simply smiled knowingly and rejoined “There is no timeline on DeBUNKolation!”
Gilbert's final campaign e-mail and includes a Double DeBUNKolation Bonehead Bonus! Using the Amazing DeBUNKolators Summaryoculator, Melissa’s statement was DeBUNKolated down to its egregious essence.
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