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News The Amazing DeBUNKolator is once again up and running after a near disastrous event that occurred while the scurrilous new USAN/Restore Respect mailer was being DeBUNKolated! NOW we have a printout of the text of that onerous mailer-- not meant for the eyes of SAG’s West Coast Members.

.: .
Date: Sunday 9/7/2003

During a massive DeBUNKolation, an overload of the Autospastic Pukeolator Alert! caused bits and pieces of the vile document to be spewed from the DeBUNKo-vacuator onto the personage of Abner Furbish III and his staff of highly trained Debunko-interpologists! Although contaminated by the odorous debris, we're happy to report that after a day in the DeBUNKo-ventilator our boys are back on the job and doing just doing fine.

Although the original disgraceful document was destroyed in the incident, the Amazing DEBUNKolator processed a readout of the loathsome text on the DeBUNKo-textometer.

For our west coast readers who have never seen the disreputable East Coast Mailer, we will display the Amazing DeBUNKolator's printout of the shameful original text!

Preliminary analysis and evaluations of the Amazing DeBUNKolator's Commentaryolizer will be [bracketed! in Red]
What follows is the original text and the Amazing DeBUNKolator's incisive, sardonic commentary.
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We’re Fed Up With Seeing Double! Dues, Elections, Health Insurance qualifications and premiums…but half the pay for digital production. [Recommendation:Then-presenters-of-document-should-stop-drinking!]

Leadership requires offering solutions, as we did when we offered you the Consolidation and Affiliation Plan![writers-of-document-are-not-only drunk! They-are-delusional] You understood that when 58% of you voted “YES” for a unified SAG and AFTRA [big-time] “YES” To taking control of your future as performers. Now, another SAG ballot is on the way: another chance to take back control of your future AND your union. [Activate-Pukeolator!!]

We had hoped to be busy building a single strong performers union with AFTRA. But thanks to the “vote no on everything” phony macho attitude of Kent McCord and Esai Morales, producers can continue pitting union against union in a “race-to-the-bottom” for digital production that will cut our wages in half and reduce background jobs. [two-words-come-to-mind. “Penis-Envy!" Scroll-down-to-Photo-of-Big-John-Connolly-to-your left!]

Soon, we will be entering two critical contract negotiations. We will need coolheaded, experienced leadership, not a “Take No Prisoners Hollywood Only” mentality! [two-words-come-to-mind. “Location-Envy!”] Melissa Gilbert, James Cromwell, Eileen Henry and all the New York USAN candidates have the vision to lead SAG into the future, and away from out-dated, destructive posturing. [Can-you-say-“grab-your-ankles!”]

In one short year, United Screen Actors Nationwide is proud to report that we achieved every goal promised in the last election and then some! [two-words-come-to-mind. “Under-Achievers!”]

*Residuals: on time payment and online tracking on the new SAG website![All-in-one indistinguishable- jumble.]

*The Cobra Bill---New York State will pay half your COBRA health insurance.[two- words-come-to-mind. “ATA-Avoidance!”]

*Runaway Production: Formed a Coalition of entertainment unions, labor leaders and producers to Commission an economic study---major step toward future legislation. [two-words-come-to-mind. “Hello-Canada!”]

*The “Coogan” Bill. Finally, New York child performers will have the same fiscal and educational protections as California kids.[And-thanks-to-NO-agency-agreement-they will also-have-the-same-opportunity-to-sign-onerous-GSAs!]

*Fought to include in the Consolidation plan elimination of the corrupt “3 voucher” program. [Fought? With-whom?]

*Increased member services including free monthly career seminars and up to date online SAGazine newsletter. [If-creators-of-this-document-stay-in- power- those-career seminars-are-going- to-come-in-real-handy.]

Melissa Gilbert, James Cromwell and the New York USAN team. [Two-words-come-to- mind. “No-way!”]


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